When Kodi and I first came up with the idea to start a blog, I was excited. Immediately blog post ideas started popping up left and right and postits soon cluttered my bedside table. I thought it was the perfect time to start a blog because everything was happening. I was finally starting to take complete control of my life (I would like to emphasize the word starting since, as of this moment, I still live in my parents home). I was about to head off to Yoga Teacher Training in Spain, something that was such a big deal in the coarse of my life because I was finally doing something I wanted while making it happen all by myself.
A year before I set off for Spain, I dropped out of university. I dropped out because I hated it and I don't mean "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I waste my time in school" hated it, I mean I down right hated it. I hated that I was forced to take classes that weren't going to help my future occupation, I hated that they made me decide during my senior year of high school what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and I hated that I was drowning in debt because the schools were far too expensive and I didn't have enough time (thanks to the poorly managed school schedules) to get a job. Basically, I hated the system. I felt lost and confused and cried a lot because of it. I also felt as though I didn't know who I was anymore.
Before UNI, I was the Hermione Granger of my class. First hand risen, last student to leave, extra-credit loving, know-it-all. I thrived off of knowledge and I personally thought there was nothing more amazing than an A+ on a report card you worked your butt off for. I lived for school. In fact, I hated the weekends I loved school so much. But when I was in UNI...That all changed. The first year was so bad, that I transfer to an online school. I thought it was a good idea since, not only was it cheaper, but I would finally be able to get a job to start paying of my student debt from the previous school. It seemed like a great idea but I still had to deal with the useless classes to fill up credits and the fact that I was slowly realizing my my majors (English Lit and Anthropology) would not actually secure me any jobs or even help pay off my school funds if I happen to find one. But I couldn't quit, I wasn't a quitter. My parents had raised me to never be a quitter, but then again, it was my parents who helped my quit.
One night, during my last week of my second year, my mom pulled me aside and told me that I didn't have to return to college if I didn't want to. She said that the brilliant thing about college is that it's always there. I can return whenever I want. But the only way she would allow me to this was if I got a job and kept moving forward. So I did.
Along with my full time job, I began to take my yoga practice to the next level and started practicing everyday, every free chance I got. And that's when it hit me. I loved so many things and though I didn't know which one I wanted to turn into an occupation that didn't mean I couldn't turn them all into a small jobs?
So I made a list of things I loved: writing, reading, history, travel, photography, yoga... and then I chose the one I felt was the most prominent in my life at that moment and went for it.
By the fall I had been accepted to yoga school in Spain and I was on cloud nine. Finally, I was doing something that felt right for my future and that I could actually pay and prepare for myself without going into debt. It felt good.
Now my trip was not all gumdrops and rainbows, it was hard. Hard in way's I didn't expect and it effected me deeply. IN order to survive some of it, I had to open myself up in ways I never had imagined and accept parts of me I never wanted to see the surface. I had to deal with cruel people, I had to deal bias judgment and segregation, I had to learn how to bite my tongue and pick my battles. And though all that bad stuff happened, it was the best experiences of my life. I grew so much and discovered I am stronger and more independant than I ever let myself believe.
And now, here I am a 21 (soon to be 22) year old young lady who is slowly getting her life together in an unconventional way. Now that you know a bit of my past, I hope you stay to see what my future brings.
Hudson x
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