YC

Hello World,

When I was younger I really wanted to be a secretary. I don't know why exactly, but I believe it may have something to do how the position is portrayed in film. For some reason I wanted the busy high strung life of Andy Sachs in Devil Wears Prada, I wanted to be part of something again. But now, looking at my life through the eyes of someone who has grown I see that it wasn't being part of something that I wanted, it was more of hiding from the problems at hand. I didn't fully realize this though until about two weeks ago, when I had completed my first month at my job.

What was my job, you may ask? Well, let's just say it was a customer service representative for a very top notch yoga company. Let's call it "YC".

YC was my first full-time, adult job I had happened to snag in mid July. In fact, I still don't know to this day how I got the job, maybe it was something to do with my eager-to-learn attitude or the giant water spill on the front of my skirt. Either way, the company hired me and I spent a good five (or maybe six) weeks working for them.

I loved waking up early and having meaning to get out of bed before the sun was even up. I loved pretending I understood fashion and make up whenever I got ready for the day. I loved the office banter and constant fulfillment of completion. I loved the big paycheck that was mailed to me every other week. In fact, I loved most of it except for the morals the company stood for, a homophobic co-worker, and constantly changing schedules. It was these things that kept me questioning my choice of signing onto this company to begin with. The pros and cons were equal and I was confused.

Was this what adult life was really about? Getting stuck with a company that doesn't share your same convictions? If so, what was the point of living? I know that sounds really dramatic but if you think about how much of your life you spend working to survive and compare that to how much time you actually have to be free... It's depressing. Needless to say, I was lost and unsure of which direction to take.

Then something odd happened. Our branch got closed down. I don't know how and I don't know why, but for some reason the YC decided to close down the branch I had been working in for about a month and a half.

When I was told the news, I was shocked and yet, indifferent to the situation. I knew I should have been upset that my main source of income (the job that was going to get me out of my parents house) was gone but I wasn't. I wasn't even relieved. I was just whatever. Maybe this comes from the constantly hiding from my problems or maybe it comes from always being on the move, but either way I have learned to become unattached to things (which I feel will become my greatest downfall).

But now, here I am, once again without a full-time, adult job. Except now I know more about myself. I do not want to be Andy Sachs and I want to be secure in something-- rooted in one place you might say. I don't want to run anymore I want to face my problems head on and become well rounded, functioning human being.

Moral of the story? I'm jobless, hire me.

With love,
HKx